manic pixie something something

my name is hajrah but i spell it as harjah (haar–ja) sometimes. in urdu, haar translates to “necklace,” but also “defeat.” ja means “go.” loosely, haar ja = “give up” or “accept defeat.”
someone i had the regrettable misfortune of being involved with started saying it that way, and it stuck.

the title of this page comes from a drunken sketch my friend made of me in the dark. c:

posts:

first flights, custard creams, and cemeteries: on seeking my great perhaps